Product Managers! Don't say that!

A collection of what Product Managers shouldn't say to their team and how to communicate better.

Be mindful of what you say and build a healthy relationship with your team.

#bugs-or-issues

Don't say

"We need to focus on new features; the bugs can wait."

The same goes for:

  • Let's not get distracted by the bugs; we have features to launch.

  • The features are more important than fixing those bugs right now.

  • Customers are waiting for features, not bug fixes.

Focusing solely on new features while ignoring bugs can severely impact the user experience and customer satisfaction. This approach suggests a misalignment in understanding the critical balance between innovation and product stability. Bugs, no matter how minor, can erode user trust over time, leading to dissatisfaction and potential loss of customers. It's essential to remember that both features and bug fixes contribute to the overall value of the product.

Instead of viewing features and bug fixes as competing priorities, it's beneficial to integrate them into a holistic product development strategy. This involves assessing the impact of bugs on the user experience and the value new features bring to the table. By fostering an environment where communication between Product Managers and Engineers emphasizes the importance of both, you can ensure that the product evolves in a way that meets user needs while maintaining high quality standards.

Say this

"How can we balance our focus between launching new features and addressing bugs to ensure optimal user satisfaction?"

The same goes for:

  • Let's evaluate the impact of current bugs versus the value of upcoming features. What's the best balance?

  • Could we review our backlog to prioritize bugs that might significantly affect user experience alongside our feature roadmap?

  • I believe both features and bug fixes are essential for our users. How can we effectively manage our resources to address both?

Balancing between innovating with new features and maintaining a stable, bug-free user experience is key to sustainable product growth. This approach reflects an understanding of the interconnectedness of features and bug fixes in delivering value to the user. By engaging in a dialogue that emphasizes collaboration and priority assessment, Product Managers and Engineers can identify the most impactful work areas.

The conversation should focus on understanding the severity of bugs and the strategic importance of new features. This balanced view encourages a data-driven approach to decision-making, where user feedback and analytics play a crucial role. Prioritizing work that maximizes user satisfaction and product quality ensures the team's efforts align with the overall business objectives and user needs.

#deadline

Don't say

"This needs to be done by next month. Can we make that happen?"

The same goes for:

  • The deadline is non-negotiable. How will you ensure we meet it?

  • This project is already behind schedule. We need to speed things up.

  • Can't you just work longer hours to get this done on time?

Demanding a project to be completed by an unrealistic deadline without consulting the engineers can lead to stress, burnout, and compromised quality of work. It disregards the complexity of tasks and the team's capacity, which can damage trust and morale.

Effective communication about deadlines should involve collaboration and respect for the engineering team's insights and suggestions. Setting deadlines should be a mutual agreement that considers all aspects of the project, ensuring a balance between timely delivery and maintaining high-quality standards.

Say this

"Based on our current scope and resources, what timeline do you think is realistic? I'd love to hear your thoughts to align on expectations."

The same goes for:

  • Considering the complexity and our available bandwidth, how comfortable are you with the proposed deadlines? Let's work together to identify any potential risks and adjustments needed.

  • Let's review the project scope and our team's capacity to better understand our timeline. It's important we set achievable deadlines that don't compromise quality or well-being.

  • Could you help me understand the key milestones and the time you'd need for each? This will help us create a timeline that's realistic and gives us room for unforeseen issues.

Discussing deadlines with engineers should be a collaborative effort, where the focus is on creating a realistic and achievable timeline. This approach respects the engineer's expertise and promotes a healthy working environment.

It's important to be transparent about the project's needs and flexible in adjusting expectations based on their feedback. This dialogue not only helps in setting practical deadlines but also builds trust and ensures everyone is on the same page regarding project timelines and deliverables.

#delay

Don't say

"Why is this taking so long? You said it would be done by now."

The same goes for:

  • This is behind schedule, what's the hold-up?

  • We're delayed again? This seems to be a pattern.

  • Can't you just work faster? We're already behind.

Discussing delays by questioning the team's speed or commitment can come off as accusatory and diminish morale. Blaming and impatience in your tone fail to recognize the complexities of development work and can erode trust between Product Managers and Engineers.

To avoid this, never imply that the delay is due to a lack of effort or ability. Instead, focus on understanding the cause and working together towards a solution. Acknowledge the hard work already done and express your commitment to assist in overcoming any hurdles.

Say this

"I see we're behind on our timeline. Can we talk about what's causing the delay and how I can help get us back on track?"

The same goes for:

  • Given the delay, let's review the challenges you're facing and discuss any adjustments we might need to make.

  • I understand we've hit some snags. What resources or support do you need from me to help navigate these obstacles?

  • Let's have a meeting to reassess our timeline and prioritize tasks to mitigate the delay.

Approaching delays with a mindset of collaboration and support rather than blame keeps the lines of communication open and productive. It shows that you value the engineering team's effort and expertise and are willing to listen and adjust plans as necessary. This approach encourages a problem-solving attitude, fosters trust, and motivates the team to work together towards the common goal of project completion.

#estimation

Don't say

"This shouldn't take long, right? It seems like a simple task."

The same goes for:

  • How many days will this take? Two, maybe three?

  • Can't you just copy and paste from somewhere else?

  • This is just adding a button, why do we need two weeks?

Discussing engineering estimates with preconceived notions of simplicity not only undermines the complexity of the work involved but also demonstrates a lack of respect for the engineering process. Assuming a task is easy without understanding the technical details or implications can demotivate your team and create friction. Engineers require time to consider the best approach, account for potential obstacles, and ensure quality. Reducing their work to perceived simplicity ignores these professional considerations.

Instead, ask open-ended questions to understand the scope, challenges, and effort involved. This fosters a culture of respect and collaboration, ensuring that estimates are grounded in reality and technical expertise.

Say this

"Could you help me understand what's involved in implementing this feature and any potential challenges you foresee?"

The same goes for:

  • Based on your experience, what kind of timeline should we expect for this task?

  • I'd love to get your insight on how complex this task is and what steps are involved.

  • Can we discuss the technical requirements and potential obstacles for this feature?

Approaching engineering estimates with openness and a genuine desire to understand the complexity of tasks demonstrates respect for the engineering expertise and process.

This method encourages transparent communication and enables engineers to share their insights on the technical scope, possible challenges, and a realistic time estimate. It acknowledges that quality work takes time and that unforeseen complications can affect timelines. By engaging in a collaborative dialogue, you align expectations and foster a productive environment where technical assessments guide project timelines.

#feature-request

Don't say

"This feature is critical and needs to be done by the next release. Can't be that hard, right?"

The same goes for:

  • How long would it take to add this feature? We really need it.

  • This feature shouldn't take much effort, can we get it in the next sprint?

  • I don't see why this would be difficult to implement.

Discussing a new feature request by underestimating its complexity or imposing tight deadlines without consultation can alienate engineers and undermines their expertise. It suggests a lack of understanding and respect for the engineering process. This approach can lead to frustration, rushed work, or a decline in team morale.

Instead, involve engineers early in the discussion, seek their input on feasibility and timelines, and maintain a flexible approach to prioritizing work. Remember, collaboration and mutual respect are key to navigating feature requests successfully.

Say this

"We're considering this new feature for the next release. Could we discuss its feasibility and how it fits into the current roadmap?"

The same goes for:

  • Based on your experience, how complex would this feature be to implement, and what timeline seems realistic?

  • Before making any decisions, I'd like to understand the technical implications and effort required for this new feature.

  • Can we explore how this feature aligns with our technical capabilities and product goals?

Approaching feature requests by seeking the engineers' input on feasibility, complexity, and timelines promotes a culture of respect and collaboration. It acknowledges the expertise of the engineering team and integrates their perspective into the decision-making process. This method not only ensures that technical challenges are addressed early but also aligns product development with realistic expectations and resources.

Involving engineers early and respecting their insights leads to more informed decisions, better planning, and a stronger, more cohesive team dynamic.

#implementation-disagreement

Don't say

"I don't care how you do it; just make it work."

The same goes for:

  • This isn't my problem. Just fix it.

  • I don't understand why this is so difficult for you.

  • Do whatever it takes, just get me the result.

Telling an Engineer "I don't care how you do it; just make it work." during a disagreement on implementation is a major communication pitfall. It disregards the Engineer's expertise, belittles the complexity of their work, and sets a tone of indifference towards the challenges they face.

This approach not only undermines trust but also discourages collaboration, as it conveys a lack of respect for the Engineer's perspective and contributions. Such statements can lead to demotivation, resentment, and a toxic work environment, which are detrimental to both the project's success and team morale.

Say this

"Can you walk me through your concerns with this approach?"

The same goes for:

  • I understand this is challenging. How can we address this together?

  • What do you think would be the best way to implement this feature?

  • Can we explore some alternatives that might meet both our goals?

Asking an Engineer to "Can you walk me through your concerns with this approach?" during a disagreement on implementation fosters a culture of open communication and mutual respect. It signals to the Engineer that their input is valued and their concerns are taken seriously. This question not only opens the door for a constructive dialogue but also encourages problem-solving and collaboration, creating an environment where everyone feels empowered to share their ideas and solutions.

By actively listening and engaging with the Engineer's perspective, Product Managers can build a stronger, more cohesive team capable of overcoming challenges together. This approach highlights the importance of empathy, respect, and partnership in navigating disagreements.

#scalability

Don't say

"We can just scale up the servers if we hit performance issues, right?"

The same goes for:

  • If it works now, we'll worry about scalability when it becomes a problem.

  • Let's not focus on optimization too early.

  • Scaling up is easy; let's just increase resources as needed.

Suggesting to "just scale up the servers" as a blanket solution to performance issues overlooks the complexities of scalability and can lead to significant technical debt. This approach simplifies a highly technical decision into an assumption that scaling resources is a one-size-fits-all solution, which is rarely the case.

Engineers value foresight in planning and appreciate when scalability is considered as part of the initial design, not as an afterthought. It's crucial to understand that some architectural decisions can fundamentally limit the system's scalability, making it much harder and more expensive to address down the line.

Say this

"How can we design our system to be scalable from the start?"

The same goes for:

  • What architectural patterns can we adopt now to ease future scaling?

  • Can we discuss our strategy for managing increased load as we grow?

  • What are the potential scalability challenges we should plan for now?

Asking "How can we design our system to be scalable from the start?" demonstrates a proactive approach to product scalability, emphasizing the importance of early consideration and planning. This question shows respect for the engineering perspective and acknowledges the complexity of designing a system that can grow efficiently. It encourages a collaborative discussion on scalable architecture, inviting engineers to share their expertise on best practices such as stateless design, load balancing, effective caching, and database scalability.

By framing the conversation around planning for scalability from the outset, you highlight a commitment to quality and sustainability. This approach fosters a sense of partnership between product management and engineering, as it seeks to leverage their technical expertise in making informed decisions that will benefit the product in the long term. It's a strategy that not only optimizes for current performance but also prepares the product to handle future growth seamlessly.

#scope-change

Don't say

"I think changing the direction slightly won’t hurt; it’s all part of the process."

The same goes for:

  • We should be able to adjust the project requirements as we go. Flexibility is key, right?

  • Let's not worry too much about sticking to the original plan; we can adapt as needed.

  • It’s normal for projects to evolve, so let’s just roll with the changes.

This casual approach to project requirements and scope underestimates the complexity and the ripple effects that even minor changes can have on a project. It often leads to scope creep, where continuous changes and additions derail the original plan, causing delays, budget overruns, and stress among the team.

Flexibility is important, but it should be balanced with a clear understanding of the project’s boundaries and objectives. Without a structured process to evaluate and integrate changes, projects can easily become unmanageable, affecting quality, deadlines, and team morale.

Say this

"While flexibility is important, let's assess how these changes align with our project's core objectives and constraints before proceeding."

The same goes for:

  • Any adjustment to our project requirements should be carefully evaluated for its impact on scope, resources, and timelines.

  • Before we consider adapting our plan, it’s crucial to understand the implications of these changes on our project’s goals and delivery.

  • Let’s ensure that any project evolution is in line with our objectives, and assess the feasibility and impact of proposed changes.

Effectively addressing scope creep involves a balance between flexibility and adherence to the project's core objectives. It's essential to evaluate the implications of any proposed changes on the project’s scope, resources, and timelines. By establishing a clear process for assessing and integrating changes, teams can remain adaptable without compromising the project's integrity.

This strategic approach helps to maintain focus on the project’s goals, ensures efficient use of resources, and keeps the project on track, thereby safeguarding against the risks associated with unchecked scope creep.

#technical-limitations

Don't say

"Can't we just do some workaround to bypass these technical issues?"

The same goes for:

  • We need to innovate here, so your technical limitations aren't really an excuse.

  • This feature is a must-have, figure out how to get it done despite the limitations.

  • We're here to push boundaries, so those technical constraints shouldn't stop us.

Telling an engineer that their technical limitations aren't an excuse for not achieving innovation dismisses the very real challenges of software development. It not only undermines the engineer's expertise but also fosters a toxic work environment where realistic concerns are waved away. This approach can lead to burnout, poor quality products, and a culture of blame when ambitious projects don't pan out as expected.

Instead of dismissing technical limitations, embrace them as opportunities to prioritize features, innovate within constraints, and collaborate on finding feasible solutions. Understanding and respecting the complexities of engineering work can lead to more productive discussions and a healthier team dynamic.

Say this

"Can we explore alternative solutions within our technical constraints that still allow us to innovate?"

The same goes for:

  • Given our technical limitations, let's prioritize features that align with our innovation goals. What's feasible?

  • How can we adjust our approach to balance our innovative aspirations with the current technical landscape?

  • Let's review the technical limitations together and brainstorm creative ways to navigate these challenges.

Encouraging a collaborative approach to innovation within the context of technical limitations recognizes the expertise of the engineering team and validates their concerns. It shifts the narrative from blame to problem-solving, promoting a culture of innovation that is grounded in reality.

This approach fosters an environment where team members feel valued and motivated to find creative solutions that balance the desire for innovation with the practicalities of technical constraints. It leads to better planning, realistic goal-setting, and ultimately, a more cohesive and productive team dynamic.

#urgency

Don't say

"This is urgent."

The same goes for:

  • We needed this done yesterday.

  • This can't wait any longer.

  • Drop everything else and do this now.

Labeling tasks as "urgent" without context can lead to frustration and confusion. It often comes across as though every request is a priority, which can dilute the significance of truly urgent tasks and lead to burnout among engineers.

The phrase "This is urgent" fails to convey the specific importance of the task, why it matters now, and how it fits into the broader project goals. Without this context, engineers are left to prioritize blindly, which can disrupt workflow and negatively impact the project's progress and team morale.

Say this

"Could we prioritize this task due to its impact on our roadmap and current customer commitments?"

The same goes for:

  • Given its importance to our goals, it would be great to focus on this now.

  • This task aligns closely with our immediate objectives, making it a high priority.

  • Considering its significance to our project timeline, let’s allocate resources here first.

Understanding the urgency of a task is crucial, but communicating it effectively is even more important. Saying "Could we prioritize this task due to its impact on our roadmap and current customer commitments?" shifts the focus from a vague urgency to the specific reasons behind the need for prioritization.

This approach not only provides clarity but also respects the engineer's workload by highlighting the task's relevance to the project's goals and the team's commitments. It encourages a collaborative effort to meet shared objectives, rather than imposing pressure with the broad label of "urgent."

#user-feedback

Don't say

"This feature is getting a lot of negative feedback. Our customers hate it. We need to change it ASAP."

The same goes for:

  • The feedback on this feature is terrible. We need to fix it now.

  • Customers are complaining a lot about this. It's a disaster.

  • Everyone hates this feature. It's urgent we do something.

Conveying customer feedback in a negative and urgent tone often leads to defensive reactions rather than constructive dialogue. Using words like "hate" and "disaster" amplifies negativity and urgency without providing actionable insights.

This approach can demoralize engineers and does not foster a collaborative environment. It's crucial to share feedback in a way that motivates the team to understand the issue deeply and work together on a solution. Avoid focusing solely on the negative aspects and refrain from conveying urgency without clarity on the feedback's specifics.

Say this

"I've gone through the customer feedback, and there are a few recurring themes we should consider. How can we address these together?"

The same goes for:

  • We've received some feedback on this feature that highlights areas for improvement. Let's review the comments together and discuss potential adjustments.

  • Some users are finding this feature challenging to use. Could we explore options for making it more user-friendly?

  • There's valuable feedback on how this feature could better meet our customers' needs. Can we set aside some time to brainstorm enhancements?

Sharing customer feedback constructively involves presenting it as an opportunity for improvement rather than just pointing out flaws. Phrases like "areas for improvement" and "valuable feedback" encourage a more positive and collaborative approach. It's important to include the engineering team in the feedback process, allowing them to understand the user's perspective and contribute to the solution.

This method fosters a problem-solving attitude, focusing on how the team can work together to enhance the product based on user feedback.

#vision

Don't say

"We're doing this because it's what the market wants, just focus on the coding."

The same goes for:

  • The product vision is more of a strategic thing; it’s not something you need to worry about.

  • Just implement what I've outlined in the requirements document.

  • Leave the vision to us; we’ll tell you what needs to be done.

This approach is a significant misstep because it undermines the importance of a unified vision and fails to foster a sense of ownership and purpose among team members. Engineers and other stakeholders are more motivated and effective when they understand how their work contributes to the larger goal.

This understanding leads to better decision-making, innovation, and a stronger alignment with the product's strategic direction. PMs should avoid minimizing the importance of the product vision and instead strive to ensure that everyone on the team understands and is committed to it.

Say this

"Let's discuss how this feature aligns with our market needs and product vision. Your insights are valuable."

The same goes for:

  • I want to share our product roadmap and how your work contributes to our vision.

  • Let's brainstorm how this feature can better meet our customer's needs together.

  • Understanding our customer's journey can help us innovate. Here's the big picture.

Involving Engineers in the product vision is crucial for creating a product that truly resonates with the market. When you say, "Let's discuss how this feature aligns with our market needs and product vision. Your insights are valuable," you're not only sharing the vision but also valuing their contributions beyond coding. This approach encourages open dialogue, collaboration, and innovation, making Engineers feel like an integral part of the product's success.

By communicating the big picture and how each piece fits together, you ensure that everyone is moving in the same direction with a shared understanding of the product goals. This alignment fosters a more motivated team, leading to a more successful and innovative product.

Who might benefit from this collection? Product managers and designers work closely with engineers, team leaders who look for curated resources when coaching their teams, and anyone who wants to improve their communication skills.

The environment where PMs works is diverse, and the communication styles are different in each culture. I try to choose the most generic dialogs to represent the mindset behind messages. The most important thing is to understand the intention behind the words.

nohello.net motivated me to start this project. 🙏

This collection is inspired by valuable threads and articles about building a healthy relationship between Product Managers and Engineer teams. Thank you all the folks who shared their experiences and insights.

It also comes from the personal experiences of those who built products with 150M+ users and worked with engineers from many different cultures. And years of mentoring and repeating, "Don't say that!"

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Todo: Support more language; Feature to learn from your "Don't say that!"; Make it open source; Add more contents;